Essings-blay and being ateful-gray

It often happens that one is blind to something obvious in your life, until it is pointed out.

This happens to me more than I’d like to admit.

Last night, we had ante-natal class. Another natural birthing process (no drugs this time) was screened. Yikes, okay.

To be blunt, I am terrified of the big D Day. I am not a fan of pain. I mean, I don’t know if my threshold is high or low. I mean, some things just hurt me more than others, I guess.

For example, when I need to have blood taken from me, they can never find a vein and have to poke me up to 4 times and scratch around in the veins. It hurts like a bitch, but it’s not like I cry.

When I used to leak, before the pregnancy, I would have to drug myself out before the pain got too bad. There were 2 instances in my life when I didn’t have drugs or access to drugs when I started leaking. I was pale, shaking, foetal position, on the bed, in a trance of pain. Oh yeah, I’m also slightly anaemic.

They do say you fear more that which you have already experienced than something unknown.

Maybe I’m worried for nothing. Maybe the birthing process won’t be so bad, depending on the quality of the drugs I will be knocked out with. I can only hope.

I am lucky because I have a good husband. No, not just good – GREAT. On the upper zenith of awesomeness. When asked if he was gonna be there at the birthing process, he answered the ante-natal lady that he will be there if his wife wants him to, or not – depending on what she needs.

I’m said wife.

Ante-natal lady’s response was then: “Your husband really loves you.”

To which I thought – yes. Yes, he does. *Insert goofy smile here*

On an even lighter note, my baby is now making footprints inside my belly. I can feel her little feet and little hands, and distinguish them from each other now. There is a foot pressing on my left upper belly as I type; very insistent. I wonder if she has enough space in there. I am, after all, a little person.

There is so much in this life to be grateful for, especially when you look at the world news; credit crunch; hurricanes striking leaving people homeless. Yeah, people are fighting in politics right now, but at least there is still a measure of free speech. No one’s been shot for their opinion *yet*, as far as I know. *touch wood*

Six weeks to go before D Day. Healthy baby, healthy mom. Welcoming environment for baby. She has outfits, lotions and potions for when she emerges from her amniotic water bath. I’ll be delivering in a private hospital with a very experienced obstetrician. Maternity leave starts in 2 weeks. My husband is supportive and there for me every step of the way.

Yup, life is good.